Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from June, 2009

How to Host Your Very Own Chicken Caper

Step 1. Find a group of friends who are not easily grossed out, are not vegetarians, are hard workers, and have a penchant for the ridiculous. Step 2. Find someone who is willing to raise 100 (or 175) baby chicks for slaughter. Step 3. Wait 6 weeks or just until these heart-attack prone chickens keel over before setting the kill date. Step 4. Provide coffee the morning of the kill. Step 5. Nail two nails the diameter of a chicken neck apart in a stump and sharpen your machete. Next, assign someone with adequate upper arm strength and good aim* to free the chicken of his head. (*This point can be critical, as tested through trial and error.) Step 6. Jam the chicken in an upside milk jug with the bottom lopped off to let "Chicken-with-its-head-cut-off Syndrome" subside and to keep the blood in a localized area. Step 7. Dip the beheaded chicken in scalding water to help remove the feathers. Note that the temperature of this water is very important and workers further along th