October is coming and not a moment too soon. While it has been a good summer and many good things are in the works, it has been a long stretch as well.
Firstly, the weather. It's so hot and I have been tired of it since mid-June. I sighed as my seatbelt burned me today and look forward to a trip home to Indiana where I can bring out the scarves and feel goosebumps on my skin outdoors.
Secondly, our BMT unit. I have been working on the bone marrow transplant unit since January, which is really such a short time compared to most of my coworkers. But, in these last few months, I have fallen in love with the patients and the nurse practitioners, the style of work, the coworkers, and the passion that everyone brings to the unit. Banner Health (the company that Good Sam, my hospital, belongs to) is opening a new cancer center outside of the city and their BMT program is not open yet. This means that our patients have to transfer to the Mayo Clinic, our doctors and NPs and nurses are spreading out like dandelions and we don't know what will take the place of BMT at our own Good Sam. Everyday at work you say goodbye to a coworker or a patient that you'll no longer see at their follow-up appointments. It has been months of goodbye. It has been a long slog.
Lastly, I have to mention one of my patients, (who I'll call Lisa) who is currently slipping away. I got to know her during her transplant in early spring and loved watching her get better after a rough go in transplant. She was a patient that made you want to be a better nurse; hell, a better person in general. She is smart and passionate and interested in you and interesting in her own stories. I got to know her husband who would sweetly tease me and then bring me a piece of carrot cake....
Recently, another patient's wife asked me how often I see miracles at work and I told her that the real miracle was watching families come together and support each other and love each other during this time.
...Lisa developed a fungal infection, which is nearly always a death sentence for BMT patients due to their immunocompromised status. But, due to sheer will, I believe, she beat it. I came home and stated that it was the first miracle I had witnessed. Several days later, the results of her bone marrow biopsy returned and her leukemia had relapsed. There was my damn miracle. F*&#.
...I have had to remind myself of my initial response and belief in miracles. Lisa lived to see her first grandchild's birthday. And I have watched the trail of nurses and staff members that have come into her room to say goodbye, that have tracked her progress in hospice and that have shed tears for her. And we're just her nurses; I know that the outpouring of love from her friends and family is tremendous. Is miraculous.
I'm not sure why all of these processes have to be so long, but I suppose that I'm grateful to all of them. I have never appreciated cool morning walks with my dog as much as I do now after the heat of the summer mornings. I have been able to work on a unit, even if it was just a glimpse, that was good and admirable and inspiring. And I met Lisa, who is one that I will keep in my heart as I continue in this job and beyond. I am so lucky for that.
Firstly, the weather. It's so hot and I have been tired of it since mid-June. I sighed as my seatbelt burned me today and look forward to a trip home to Indiana where I can bring out the scarves and feel goosebumps on my skin outdoors.
Secondly, our BMT unit. I have been working on the bone marrow transplant unit since January, which is really such a short time compared to most of my coworkers. But, in these last few months, I have fallen in love with the patients and the nurse practitioners, the style of work, the coworkers, and the passion that everyone brings to the unit. Banner Health (the company that Good Sam, my hospital, belongs to) is opening a new cancer center outside of the city and their BMT program is not open yet. This means that our patients have to transfer to the Mayo Clinic, our doctors and NPs and nurses are spreading out like dandelions and we don't know what will take the place of BMT at our own Good Sam. Everyday at work you say goodbye to a coworker or a patient that you'll no longer see at their follow-up appointments. It has been months of goodbye. It has been a long slog.
Lastly, I have to mention one of my patients, (who I'll call Lisa) who is currently slipping away. I got to know her during her transplant in early spring and loved watching her get better after a rough go in transplant. She was a patient that made you want to be a better nurse; hell, a better person in general. She is smart and passionate and interested in you and interesting in her own stories. I got to know her husband who would sweetly tease me and then bring me a piece of carrot cake....
Recently, another patient's wife asked me how often I see miracles at work and I told her that the real miracle was watching families come together and support each other and love each other during this time.
...Lisa developed a fungal infection, which is nearly always a death sentence for BMT patients due to their immunocompromised status. But, due to sheer will, I believe, she beat it. I came home and stated that it was the first miracle I had witnessed. Several days later, the results of her bone marrow biopsy returned and her leukemia had relapsed. There was my damn miracle. F*&#.
...I have had to remind myself of my initial response and belief in miracles. Lisa lived to see her first grandchild's birthday. And I have watched the trail of nurses and staff members that have come into her room to say goodbye, that have tracked her progress in hospice and that have shed tears for her. And we're just her nurses; I know that the outpouring of love from her friends and family is tremendous. Is miraculous.
I'm not sure why all of these processes have to be so long, but I suppose that I'm grateful to all of them. I have never appreciated cool morning walks with my dog as much as I do now after the heat of the summer mornings. I have been able to work on a unit, even if it was just a glimpse, that was good and admirable and inspiring. And I met Lisa, who is one that I will keep in my heart as I continue in this job and beyond. I am so lucky for that.
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